I’m in Despair!

I'm in despair! This boring life of mine has left me in despair!

I think I might have watched too much of Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei as my usually positive outlook about the world is slowly becoming dim leaving me in despair. I guess that's what happen when I think about life too seriously that after pondering about life and the everyday world, everything seems too dull and too ordinary. I can't blame myself though since apparently I'm having yet another spell of acute depression from having too much inactivity. Too put it short, I'm just bored.

The cool nostalgic breeze. Christmas is just around the corner eh? There's something about the air this season that makes me suddenly go into a melancholic mood. With just about 2 months to go before Christmas, I can't help but think that I was once again swept by the flow of time without me even knowing it. My mind is still stuck somewhere in the past and it's creating problems for the me now. No it's not an identity crisis, I've been there and over it already, it's something far more complicated than that and something I can't really explain it well myself. I don't know. It seems like I am lost again and there's no signs or directions for the next few kilometers ahead.

I've been itching to write this thing but, I don't know, I can't find time to write it. It's another one of those inane synchronicity.

Inane Synchronicity # 5: Someone out there is playing with my life

There's just to many coincidences in my life - too much really - that I'm beginning to wonder whether there's someone out there controlling the direction of my life and that said person is a really mischievous one.

I may not look like it but I'm a hopeless romantic. I'm in love with love but I'm also in love with somebody (it's one sided and she most probably has someone already but I'm happy just with that and yes you can call me a fool, an idiot whatever you like) so maybe this fact greatly contributed to the resolve I made not too long ago. On the day I made that resolve. I asked my occult….err…I mean really normal friend (I hope he's not reading this) to give me a Tarot reading and much too my surprise, he got most of the things right. The thing is, that same night I got an sms message and it is (you probably guessed it right) from her. Now you might think that this is normal but in my case it's not since my cellphone is more like an electronic book rather than a communication device because of the rarity that it is actually used in communicating. I rarely send messages and it's even rarer that I receive text messages so you can see how mischievous this person controlling the direction of my life is by instating that coincidence.

And it never stopped there. Why is it that those rare text messages keep on coming in when they are needed the most like when these acute depression spells kicks in and such.

Well anyway, she agreed to meet me this month though I still haven't decided on when or where - I'm really a worthless person ain't I?

—

Speaking of October, this is going to be one heck of a month. Finals are just a few weeks away and, if my estimate is correct, the deadline for that art competition will be on Finals week too!!

Uhmm…what speech?

I guess it's about time to write something on this blog of mine. It's been like what? 2 months since the last entry.

Time sure slows down when one is indulged in thoughts. The FX ride earlier this week turned out to be a slow ride along the nostalgic memory lane as I suddenly had an urge to reminisce about my life. And the couple in the FX with me who was talking about everyday life as if I'm listening to a live slice-of-life show didn't help but only stimulate my brain dig out more of these memories from not long ago.  

I sure got another lucky break today as I was lucky enough to attend my Retorika class on time today. It turns out that today is the day where we do that speech thing which is half of our finals exam. Being the oblivious guy that I am, I only knew of this when our professor announced to the class to prepare our speeches as she drew the first person lucky enough to take center stage.

Lucky enough, that person was not me. Me who quickly brought out a paper and pen after the proclamation that today is "Speech Day" as I tried all my best to think of a topic that is good and sensible enough to be used in a discussion. I am at a disadvantage but was relieved to see that  I am not alone in my problem since a quick scan of the classroom revealed a number of students that's also scribbling something on paper.

Like I have the time to be looking around the classroom! With time running out, I decided on discussing Philippine Cybergames and its implication on the Filipino Youth. I knew I have to act fast and think of a good discussion flow because I sense that I'll be called on soon. And soon enough, I did. Just like on cue, I was called on to recite my impromptu speech just as I was writing down the closing remarks for my wonderfully created speech done in a rush.

Everything turned out pretty well; that is if you disregard the fact that I am bad with oral communication much less a sensible speech but I really feel that I managed to get my point across.  

Well anyway, that's it for this entry.

Hare Hare Yukai

This blog has been stagnant for quite a while now mainly because I have been busy with my other blog, One Novus Crusader's Sanctum Sanctorum, which is a gaming blog I created to enter in a game blogging contest.

A simple hello can make an ordinary sunny morning into an incredibly sunny sunshiny happy morning.

Hare Hare Yukai is translated to Sunny Sunshiny Happy and is the title of the highly addicting Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu ED theme.

Today turned out to be a pretty good day as opposed to the series of unfortunate events that I had yesterday. Heck, yesterday was a bummer, the best part of it was when I was asleep on my bed. Anyway, I woke up this morning to the usual myriad of IMs since I leave my messenger open even if I'm asleep but what really made the start of my day great is that among the cloud of instant messages was a simple "eow" from that person that holds a special place in my he-…err…Anyway, moving on, it's a source of inspiration for the day but it was also a source of a bit of regret as that message was relayed 3 hours before I woke up. Damn, why must I be asleep during that time; I blame my stupid self for messing-up my body's circadian rythm. Well, what's done is done, and she was already offline when I woke up so no helping that.

I went to school only to continue my spree of happiness. Today is defintely a happy day, everything went smoothly and I even had a chance to show off my somewhat above-average skills. And the best way to end such a happy day is with…

…this one. I'm ktsne09 by the way. Finally my pathetic writing skills won me something which quite boosted my confidence. All those all-nighters finally paid off.

Well it's time I rest these tired eyes of mine; I got classes early tomorrow.

I had a dream…

Maybe the lack of sleep is finally taking it's toll on my sanity as I've been having a weird series of dreams lately. I was inspired to write the latest of these dream after I've learned that Freud used to write his dream which he later used in his Dream Analysis Therapy. According to him dream is a window to the unconscious blah…blah…

Moving on, the dream goes like this. I remember it starting from when I was hanging for dear life on the side of some of a bus. I was clinging on the door banging for it to let me in. The bus stopped on some sort of station before an intersection. I entered the bus and remembered seeing familiar faces which by now I have forgotten. I remembered 2 persons though, one was her and the other one was a close friend from high school. As far as I know she's always in the dream that I manage to recall and, no, the dreams are not what you think they are. I wonder what that means. Anyway, I sat on the right side of the bus somewhere in the middle but the weird thing is during the bus trip I remember peering out the window to my immediate left - well this is a dream after all so don't think about it too much which is exactly what I did. I remembered looking at a grandiose facade of some High School. The school has a name but I forgot it already. The bus ride went on for a rather long time and it ended at a weird looking building. I recalled looking down at a really eerie looking staircase. We went into some hall and, as embarassing as it may seem, there was an auction for RF Elemental Accessories on it. This is both disturbing and funny at the same time but it's not as funny as being chased by Bone Fletcher from DotA which a friend of mine dreamt of ^^. There was a ramble before that and the auction was set up to organize the people. I was not interested on it and recalled that I was asking for a dialogue with her which she promptly refused then and again. I went out and noticed another girl on the corridor. That girl gave me an all-too-familiar feeling like I've seen her somewhere before but I can't recall when or where. The dream ends when I find myself face to face with some slimy monster just before the eerie staircase that I've mentioned.

So that's it, anyone out there who happens to know how to read dreams, please do help me out. ^^ 

This Blog is suitable for all Ages

o rly?

Yes indeed, so long as they don't read the rants and some of the inane synchronicity section, this blog is definitely rated G.

Anyways, what to blog, what to blog. Oh, right there's the continuation from the previous entry but I really can't write anything sensible at 3 in the morning right? So I guess I'll leave that thing for later. I was planning on blogging something earlier last evening (hmm…did that made sense?) but I prioritized the rf blog which I'm going to use for that rf blogging contest so there's really no helping it right?

Blah! I'm really just making up excuses ain't I? Anyways, I guess that's enough blogging for tonight. Oh, and one last thing befor I sign out…

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