I’m in Despair!

I'm in despair! This boring life of mine has left me in despair!

I think I might have watched too much of Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei as my usually positive outlook about the world is slowly becoming dim leaving me in despair. I guess that's what happen when I think about life too seriously that after pondering about life and the everyday world, everything seems too dull and too ordinary. I can't blame myself though since apparently I'm having yet another spell of acute depression from having too much inactivity. Too put it short, I'm just bored.

The cool nostalgic breeze. Christmas is just around the corner eh? There's something about the air this season that makes me suddenly go into a melancholic mood. With just about 2 months to go before Christmas, I can't help but think that I was once again swept by the flow of time without me even knowing it. My mind is still stuck somewhere in the past and it's creating problems for the me now. No it's not an identity crisis, I've been there and over it already, it's something far more complicated than that and something I can't really explain it well myself. I don't know. It seems like I am lost again and there's no signs or directions for the next few kilometers ahead.

I've been itching to write this thing but, I don't know, I can't find time to write it. It's another one of those inane synchronicity.

Inane Synchronicity # 5: Someone out there is playing with my life

There's just to many coincidences in my life - too much really - that I'm beginning to wonder whether there's someone out there controlling the direction of my life and that said person is a really mischievous one.

I may not look like it but I'm a hopeless romantic. I'm in love with love but I'm also in love with somebody (it's one sided and she most probably has someone already but I'm happy just with that and yes you can call me a fool, an idiot whatever you like) so maybe this fact greatly contributed to the resolve I made not too long ago. On the day I made that resolve. I asked my occult….err…I mean really normal friend (I hope he's not reading this) to give me a Tarot reading and much too my surprise, he got most of the things right. The thing is, that same night I got an sms message and it is (you probably guessed it right) from her. Now you might think that this is normal but in my case it's not since my cellphone is more like an electronic book rather than a communication device because of the rarity that it is actually used in communicating. I rarely send messages and it's even rarer that I receive text messages so you can see how mischievous this person controlling the direction of my life is by instating that coincidence.

And it never stopped there. Why is it that those rare text messages keep on coming in when they are needed the most like when these acute depression spells kicks in and such.

Well anyway, she agreed to meet me this month though I still haven't decided on when or where - I'm really a worthless person ain't I?

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Speaking of October, this is going to be one heck of a month. Finals are just a few weeks away and, if my estimate is correct, the deadline for that art competition will be on Finals week too!!

Uhmm…what speech?

I guess it's about time to write something on this blog of mine. It's been like what? 2 months since the last entry.

Time sure slows down when one is indulged in thoughts. The FX ride earlier this week turned out to be a slow ride along the nostalgic memory lane as I suddenly had an urge to reminisce about my life. And the couple in the FX with me who was talking about everyday life as if I'm listening to a live slice-of-life show didn't help but only stimulate my brain dig out more of these memories from not long ago.  

I sure got another lucky break today as I was lucky enough to attend my Retorika class on time today. It turns out that today is the day where we do that speech thing which is half of our finals exam. Being the oblivious guy that I am, I only knew of this when our professor announced to the class to prepare our speeches as she drew the first person lucky enough to take center stage.

Lucky enough, that person was not me. Me who quickly brought out a paper and pen after the proclamation that today is "Speech Day" as I tried all my best to think of a topic that is good and sensible enough to be used in a discussion. I am at a disadvantage but was relieved to see that  I am not alone in my problem since a quick scan of the classroom revealed a number of students that's also scribbling something on paper.

Like I have the time to be looking around the classroom! With time running out, I decided on discussing Philippine Cybergames and its implication on the Filipino Youth. I knew I have to act fast and think of a good discussion flow because I sense that I'll be called on soon. And soon enough, I did. Just like on cue, I was called on to recite my impromptu speech just as I was writing down the closing remarks for my wonderfully created speech done in a rush.

Everything turned out pretty well; that is if you disregard the fact that I am bad with oral communication much less a sensible speech but I really feel that I managed to get my point across.  

Well anyway, that's it for this entry.